I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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