Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
