we have officially lost it.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I had to cum in my sink.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
