So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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