Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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