Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
