We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
