didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
