I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
