end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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