if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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