Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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