roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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