it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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