Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
she peed on how many people?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
