i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize