I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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