so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
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He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
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Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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