So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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