My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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