i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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