That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
