A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
