Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
