Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
