Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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