So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
