she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
