were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
