He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
