you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
