Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
