Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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