Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
