you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
