Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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