I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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