I hope mine doesn't look like that
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
