8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
