What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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