doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
