My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize