You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
