Having a random hookup so left but love u
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?