I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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