Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.