i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week