dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
