WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
3 2 1 whiskey
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
