We're facebook friends in real life
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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