Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
