is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
