I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
