Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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