there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
