why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
