She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize