FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
