Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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