8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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