Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
