I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
