hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
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I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
