I just saw a hot homeless man
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
